then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
