He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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