When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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