After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
