I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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