I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
