So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
