he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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