I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
