I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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