i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
