i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
