when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
