Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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