Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
