Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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