Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
