Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
