Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
