Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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