when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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