I can't watch pbs sober anymore
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
