i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got inside last night via doggy door
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
