I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
