brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
