I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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