just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
