If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
