i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
