My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
