I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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