I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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