actually, I'm a sock model
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
