Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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