dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
