I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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