I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
