evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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