either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
