I just threw up on my dentist
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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