She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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