I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
