her vagine was all disorganized.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
