Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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