I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
