her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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