my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
