Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
