I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
