whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
