i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
