Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i love accidental penises.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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