it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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