When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
